Twilight Saga Instant Messaging
by Oujdagirl
Summary: The Twilight Characters get their hands on IM.
1. Chapter 1

**Itz been done a thousand times and I'm going to make it 1,001!**

**Hope you like it! All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer ©**

* * *

Bella: Stupid_Lamb

Edward: Masochistic_Lion

Alice: Psyke!

Jasper: Komander_Kalm

Emmet: Strongerthanyou

Rosalie: Iluvmamonkeyman

Carlisle: Dr_Vamp

Esme: Mrs_Vamp

Jacob: Big_Bad_Wolf

* * *

_Stupid_Lamb, Masochistic_Lion have signed in._

**Stupid_Lamb:** Anybody home?

**Masochistic_Lion:** Hi, love!

**Stupid_Lamb:** Eddie! … Watz wiv da name?

**Masochistic_Lion:** I could say the same about you.

**Stupid_Lamb:** Thatz wat I da on the meadow, & itz true but ur not Masochistic…

**Masochistic_Lion: **Yes it is! I am too selfish to stay away and keep you safe!

**Stupid_Lamb:** *sob*

**Masochistic_Lamb:** Bella? Are you okay! Hold on, I'll be right over!

**Stupid_Lamb:** Wait! Don't leave me!

**Masochistic_Lion:** ?

**Stupid_Lamb:** U r not Masochistic! Plz say u wna stay wiv me! I dnt wnt u to stay away!

**Masochistic_Lion:** Of course I'll stay with you, I love you.

_Masochistic_Lion has changed his name to Piano_Player._

**Stupid_Lamb:** YAY! I luv ya 2!

**Piano_Player:** Are you happy now?

**Stupid_Lamb:** Yep

_Psyke!, Komander_Kalm have signed in_

**Psyke!:** Hey!

**Stupid_Lamb:** Hi, Alice! XD Hi Jazz!

**Komander_Kalm:** How come i dnt get a "XD"?

**Psyke!:** Coz ur not special like me!

**Piano_Player**: Alice, no one is special like you.

**Komander_Kalm:** LOL

**Stupid_Lamb:** Sozzy Alice. LOL XD

**Psyke!:** Oh har har… *gives evils through the computer screen*

**Piano_Player:** Carrying on…. Jazz? Why does your screen name have "k's" instead of "C's"?

**Komander_Kalm:** COZ ITZ AWESOME!

**Stupid_Lamb:** Ok then…

**Piano_Player:** lol

**Komander_Kalm:** R u doubting mi awesomness?

**Stupid_Lamb:** Ummm…

**Piano_Player:** Of course not…

**Komander_Kalm:** Alice! They r doubting mi awesomness!

**Psyke!: **How dare you!

**Stupid_Lamb:** Umm…. G2G! Bii!

**Piano_Player:** Yeah, me too… I need to go and…. See Bella!

_Stupid_Lamb and Piano_Player have signed out._

**Komander_Kalm: **Alice, u dnt doubt mii awesomness. Do u?

**Psyke!:** Of course not! Umm… I think Esme is calling me! I g2g! Bii Jazz!

_Psyke! has signed out._

**Komander_Kalm:** *would blush if I could* Alice thinks I'm awesome!

* * *

**AN: I kno that wasn't too gd… *hangs head in shame* XD**

**Jasper likes being called Awesome! (Even if itz only his wife who says so) LOL!**

**Ps: Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hope you like it! All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer ©**

* * *

Bella: Stupid_Lamb

Edward: Piano_Player

Alice: Psyke!

Jasper: Komander_Kalm

Emmet: Strongerthanyou

Rosalie: Iluvmamonkeyman

Carlisle: Dr_Vamp

Esme: Mrs_Vamp

Jacob: Big_Bad_Wolf

* * *

_Psyke! has signed in_

**Psyke!:** Hey!

**Psyke:** Where iz every1?

**Psyke:** 3…2….1…

_Komander_Kalm, Strongerthanyou, Iluvmamonkeyman has signed in._

**Komander_Kalm:** Hi ppl!

**Strongerthanyou:** HELLO JAZZ! HELLO ROSE! HELLO ALICE!

**Psyke!:** Hey guys! Em? Hyper much?

**Iluvmamonkeyman:** He's been like that alllll day! You dnt have to live wiv him… I mean u do live wiv him… I mean...

**Psyke!:** I know wat u mean.

**Komander_Kalm:** LOL Em! Ur wife no like u! wat u do?

**Strongerthanyou:** UMMM… ROSE? WAT I DO?

**Iluvmamonkeyman:** U jumped on mii car & broke it!

**Strongerthanyou:** OH YH! HEY JAZZ! I BROKE HER CAR!

**Komander_Kalm:** LOL! Awesome, Em! That was epic!

**Psyke!:** *Taps her foot inpatiently*

**Komander_Kalm:** wat? …Oh yh. Em, totally uncool, u shudn't b so mean to Rose.

**Iluvmemonkeyman:** *gasps in awe* How did u train him?

**Psyke!:** Just giv them treats wen they r gd… *wink wink* I gotta teach Bella that trick!

**Komander_Kalm:** Yep! I luv those little blood pouches! They dnt have human blood, but they r still awesome!

**Strongerthanyou:** ROSE? I WNT SPECIAL POUCHES!

**Iluvmamonkeyman:** Really?

**Strongerthanyou:** YA!

**Iluvmamonkeyman:** THEN GO FIX MII CAR! *starts to walk towards Emmet's room to shout*

**Komander_Kalm:** Ouch *Sends calming waves to everyone in house*

**Strongerthanyou:** I DNT FINK THATZ GUNNA WORK DUDE! HELP ME!

_Strongerthanyou, Iluvmamonkeyman have signed out._

**Psyke!:** LMAO!

**Komander_Kalm:** Alice?

**Psyke!:** Wat?

**Komander_Kalm:** I'm bored

**Psyke:** ^_^

_Stupid_Lamb signed in_

**Stupid_lamb:** Postbox!

_Stupid_Lamb signed out_

**Komander_Kalm: **WTV?

**Psyke!:** Dnt swear… That girl's got problems

**Komander_Kalm:** I didn't swear WTV=What the Voultori She agreed to marry Edward… Surely u knew she had problems

**Psyke!:** LOL XD That reminds me, I gotta go do planning!

_Psyke! signed out_

_Piano_Player signed in_

**Piano_Player:** *Reads the conversation above* did you say that my fiancé has problems?

**Komander_Kalm:** *laughs nervously* Well…

**Piano_Player:** Because she agreed to marry me?

**Komander_Kalm:** I fink Alice iz callin me!

**Piano_Player:** I didn't hear anything…

_Komander_Kalm has signed out_

**Piano_Player:** LOL I can intimidate a Vampire/Ex-commander, 200 years older than me!

* * *

**LOL XD!**

**Can anyone think of gd Twilight exclamations? WTV dnt have a gd ring to it… XD**

**Ps: Review?**


	3. Chapter 3

Hope you like it! All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer ©

* * *

Bella: Stupid_Lamb

Edward: Piano_Player

Alice: Psyke!

Jasper: Komander_Kalm

Emmet: Strongerthanyou

Rosalie: Iluvmamonkeyman

Carlisle: Dr_Vamp

Esme: Mrs_Vamp

Jacob: Big_Bad_Wolf

* * *

_Dr_Vamp, Mrs_Vamp signed in_

**Dr_Vamp:** So this is the world that our children are addicted to…

**Mrs_Vamp:** Apparently… I don't see the point, it's boring.

**Dr_Vamp:** Hey look what I found! =)

**Mrs_Vamp:** Wow! I want to try. ^_^!

**Dr_Vamp:** This is brilliant!

**Mrs_Vamp:** Amazing! :D

_Strongerthanyou signed in_

**Strongerthanyou:** HI MOM! HI DAD! XD

**Dr_Vamp:** Well, I've got to go… Shift at the hospital. Bye, Darling. Bye, Son.

_Dr_Vamp signed out_

**Mrs_Vamp:** You ditched me!

**Strongerthanyou:** MOM? R U OK?

**Mrs_Vamp:** Sure, I'm fine. I just have to…. Go make dinner for Bella! She's coming over today!

**Strongerthanyou:** OK MOM! BII!

_Mrs_Vamp has signed out_

**Strongerthanyou:** ANYBODY ONLINE!

_Big_Bad_Wolf has signed in_

**Strongerthanyou:** HI, MUTT!

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** Hi, Leech. Where iz every1?

**Strongerthanyou:** I DUNNO…

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** Emmett?

**Strongerthanyou:** YA!

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** R u hyper?

**Strongerthanyou:** NO!

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** Just askin…

**Strongerthanyou:** SHHH!

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** Y?

**Strongerthanyou:** ROSIE DNT KNO I'M HIDING! SHH! IF U WERE MII FREND, U WUDN'T SEND SO MANY MSGS! SHE IZ ANGRY AT ME & I AM HIDING IN THE CLOSET!

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** U kno we r not frendz…

**Strongerthanyou:** I KNO! U R IN MII ENEMIES LIST

**Big_Bad_Wolf: **U hav an enemies list?

**Strongerthanyou:** UR THE ONLY PERSON IN IT, MUTT. LOL…

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** GRRRR! *Has a think* U kno u told me to keep quiet?

**Strongerthanyou:** YA?

_Big_Bad_Wolf has sent a nudge_

_Big_Bad_Wolf has sent a nudge_

_Big_Bad_Wolf has sent a nudge_

_Big_Bad_Wolf has sent a nudge_

_Big_Bad_Wolf has sent a nudge_

**Strongerthanyou:** HEY, DUDE! THATZ NOT FAIR!

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** U called me a Mutt…

**Strongerthanyou:** BUT, HEY

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** ?

**Strongerthanyou:** Hello, this is Rosalie. Thank you for telling me where Emmett was. I'd never thought I'd say this, but thank you Jacob! And, no offence, but Big Bad Wolf?

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** ?

_Strongerthanyou has signed out_

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** LOL XD

* * *

**Was I too mean to Emmett? Oh well, he'll survive… Yay I got to put Jacob in there & Carlisle & Esme! YAY! **

**LOL XD**

**Ps Review? **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hope you like it! All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer ©**

**

* * *

**

Bella: Stupid_Lamb

Edward: Piano_Player

Alice: Psyke!

Jasper: Komander_Kalm

Emmet: Strongerthanyou

Rosalie: Iluvmamonkeyman

Carlisle: Dr_Vamp

Esme: Mrs_Vamp

Jacob: Big_Bad_Wolf

* * *

_Stupid_Lamb, Piano_Player have signed in_

**Stupid_Lamb: **Eddie!

**Piano_Player: **Bella!

**Stupid_Lamb: **Y r u not wiv me here or how come I'm not wiv u in ur house?

**Piano_Player: **Because Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett and Alice said I am smothering you. *sulk*

**Stupid_Lamb:** Wat?

**Piano_Player:** They say I spend too much time with you and that you get annoyed, and I don't want you to be annoyed with me before the

wedding…

**Stupid_Lamb:** How can u spend _too _much time wiv me?

**Piano_Player:** But…

**Stupid_Lamb:** I wnt u to come & pic me up so I can shout at them

**Piano_Player:** Are you sure? I don't want to annoy you…

**Stupid_Lamb:** Edward?

**Piano_Player: **Yes?

**Stupid_Lamb:** Come & pic me up, plz! Charlie wnts me to *shudder* tidy mii room!

**Piano_Player:** Is that so bad? I mean, your room isn't the cleanest…

**Stupid_Lamb: **Edward?

**Piano_Player: **I'm coming…

_Piano_Player has signed out_

_Psyke! has signed in_

**Stupid_Lamb:** Alice!

**Psyke!: **Bella! Wna go shopping?

**Stupid_Lamb:** Alice

**Psyke!:** Wat? Wat did I do?

**Stupid_Lamb:** U told mii fiancé he woz smothering me

**Psyke!: **Well, he waz! He watches u sleep, & watches u wake up & iz there all the time or u get dragged…

**Stupid_Lamb:** I told him to STAY wiv me forever… I meant it literally…

**Psyke!: **Oh…

**Stupid_Lamb:** Yh, oh…

**Psyke!:** Soz!

**Stupid_Lamb: **You had better be sorry!

**Psyke!: **Bella, y did ur spelling get perfect?

**Stupid_Lamb:** That's the last time I take advice from you, Alice Cullen.

**Psyke!: *** Laughs nervously* hi, Edward… How r u?

**Stupid_Lamb:** Grrr…

**Psyke!:** I gotta go! Wedding to plan!

**Stupid_Lamb: **Bye

_Stupid_Lamb, Psyke! sign out_

_

* * *

_

**LOL! I luv writing these! They aren't too good, but I luv writing them!**

**Ps Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hope you like it! All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer ©**

**

* * *

**

Bella: Stupid_Lamb

Edward: Piano_Player

Alice: Psyke!

Jasper: Komander_Kalm

Emmet: Strongerthanyou

Rosalie: Iluvmamonkeyman

Carlisle: Dr_Vamp

Esme: Mrs_Vamp

Jacob: Big_Bad_Wolf

* * *

_Big_Bad_Wolf, Dr_Vamp sign in_

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** Hi, doc!

**Dr_Vamp:** Well, good afternoon, Jacob. How are your scars clearing up?

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** They r all gd! Doc, I just wnted to ask, y do all ur kids h8 me?

**Dr_Vamp: **I don't know, Jacob. I'm sorry, have they been causing you trouble?

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** No, just…

**Dr_Vamp:** Just what?

**Big_Bad_Wolf: **Emmett keeps sending me spam & Jasper keeps giving me evils whenever I see him in the street

**Dr_Vamp:** I do not know what those things are. But thank you, Jacob, for telling me. It will stop now. Sorry for any trouble.

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** No worries, Doc.

**Dr_Vamp: **Was that all?

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** Yh, Doc. I g2g Bii

**Dr_Vamp: **Bye, Jacob.

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** Bii

_Big_Bad_Wolf has signed out_

_Strongerthanyou, Iluvmamonkeyman, Komander_Kalm have signed in_

**Strongerthanyou: **HI GUYS! HI DAD! XD

**Komander_Kalm:** Hey

_Iluvmamonkeyman has changed his/her name to Mamonkeymanhurtmababybmw_

**Strongerthanyou:** I SAID SORRY, ROSE! WAT ELSE CAN I DO?

**Komander_Kalm:** Dude, u iz in srs truble, LMAO XD

**Mamonkeymanhurtmababybmw:** Yes, Emmett, u r in truble…

**Dr_Vamp: **Boys, have you been annoying, more threatening, Jacob Black?

**Strongerthanyou:** UMM….

**Komander_Kalm:** Umm…

**Dr_Vamp: **I knew it! He helped us at the battle! How could you? That's it, Jasper and Emmett, you are both… both… umm… I can't think of a good punishment! Rosalie! Little help?

**Mamonkeymanhurtmababybmw:** I kno exactly wat they can do, they can buy me & Alice new cars, new wardrobes & be our slaves for the rest of the week.

**Dr_Vamp:** Not the punishment I would've chosen but very good, Rosalie!

**Strongerthanyou:** WHAT?

**Komander_Kalm:** Hey, thatz not fair!

**Dr_Vamp:** Listen to me…

**Strongerthanyou:** YES, DAD DX

**Komander_Kalm:** … yes, dad…

**Dr_Vamp: **okay, I've got to go now! Bye children!

_Dr_Vamp has signed out_

**Strongerthanyou:** ROSIE, WHY?

_Mamonkeymanhurtmababybmw has changed his/her name to Iluvmamonkeymanslave_

**Komander_Kalm:** LOL

**Iluvmamonkeymanslave:** I'm tellin Alice wat u did too, Jazz. Soz Dad said so…

**Strongerthanyou: **LOL 2 U 2, LOSER

**Komander_Kalm: **Grrr…

* * *

**LOL Emmett shudn't have jumped on Rose's car & then none of this wud've happened… XD Oh well I luv Emmett really, & Jasper & Edward & well u get the point… LOL**

**Ps Review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hope you like it! All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer ©**

**

* * *

**

Bella: Stupid_Lamb

Edward: Piano_Player

Alice: Psyke!

Jasper: Komander_Kalm

Emmet: Strongerthanyou

Rosalie: Iluvmamonkeymanslave

Carlisle: Dr_Vamp

Esme: Mrs_Vamp

Jacob: Big_Bad_Wolf

* * *

_Stupid_Lamb, Piano_Player have signed in_

_Stupid_Lamb is appearing offline_

**Stupid_Lamb:** Edward?

**Piano_Player: **Oh hello, Bella. Where are you,and why are you appearing offline?

**Stupid_Lamb:** Is Alice there?

**Piano_Player:** No, why?

**Stupid_Lamb:** I am hiding in mii closet wiv mii laptop. I iz hiding from Alice

**Piano_Player:** … Umm, two things why are you hiding from Alice? And when did you get a laptop?

**Stupid_Lamb: **Alice wnts to go dress shopping 4 da weddin reception. She gave me dis laptop so she cud tlk to me about the weddin all the time…

**Piano_Player:** That explains why you are hiding. I don't have to do anything for the wedding except turn up. I really wanted to help as well, our wedding will be wonderful.

**Stupid_Lamb:** Grrr… stop being so thoughtful, it makes me seem horrible…

**Piano_Player:** And how in the world could you be horrible?

**Stupid_Lamb:** *Is glad that Edward can't see her because she is blushing* Edward?

**Piano_Player:** Yes, darling?

**Stupid_Lamb:** Help *tries to give puppy dog eyes through the computer*

**Piano_Player:** Of course, I'll be right over

**Stupid_Lamb:** I'll be waiting

_Piano_Player has signed out_

_Stupid_Lamb has signed out_

_Komander_Kalm has signed in_

**Komander_Kalm: **Anynody here?

**Komander_Kalm:** Lonely I'm so Lonely, I hav nobody, I'm all on mii own!

_Big_Bad_Wolf has signed in but has appeared offline_

**Komander_Kalm: **Lonely I'm so Lonely, I hav nobody, I'm all on mii own!

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** u must b reeeaallllyy sad, as in u hav no life…

**Komander_Kalm:** Oh, itz mutt… I am a vampire, I'm dead, of course I haven't got a life…

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** LOL XD u dnt hav a life!

**Komander_Kalm:** GRRR!

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** Calm it, leech. I just wnted to say hi. Hi!

**Komander_Kalm:** u've said hi, so go NOW! Or… I'll report the abuse…

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** Wat abuse? Cnt an enemy say hi?

**Komander_Kalm:** GRRR!

**Big_Bad_Wolf:** ok ok, I'm going! Bii, leech!

_Big_Bad_Wolf has signed out_

_Strongerthanyou has signed in_

**Strongerthanyou:** HELLO JAZZ! HOWZ U?

**Komander_Kalm:** I'm gd, u shud kno, I'm nxt door! If u wnted to ask me that u cud've wlked in here & asked me, or better yet, shouted!

**Strongerthanyou:** THIS WAY IZ WAAAYYYY MORE KL!

**Komander_Kalm: **LOL I agree…

* * *

**I'm bored… very bored… + mii frend keeps annoying me to update… so I did… happy now, **_**Duckies-on-A-trampoline**_**? LOL XD**

**Ps Review?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hope you like it! All Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer ©**

* * *

Bella: Stupid_Lamb

Edward: Piano_Player

Alice: Psyke!

Jasper: Komander_Kalm

Emmet: Strongerthanyou

Rosalie: Iluvmamonkeymanslave

Carlisle: Dr_Vamp

Esme: Mrs_Vamp

Jacob: Big_Bad_Wolf

* * *

_Psyke! And Iluvmamonkeymanslave has just signed in_

**Iluvmamonkeymanslave:** Hi!

**Psyke!:** Whoah watz wiv da exclamation mark?

**Iluvmamonkeymanslave:** Mii screen name says it all

**Psyke!:** LOL...Wat u getting Em to do?

**Iluvmamonkeymanslave:** He has to paint his Jeep pink **(A/N I kno this has been done loads of time but i liked the idea of Emmet wiv a pink Jeep XD)** U?

**Psyke!:** I iz nice to mii Jazzie...

**Iluvmamamonkeymanslave:** Alice?

**Psyke!:** He has to try & NOT talk wiv his southener's accent for a week, if he does then he doesn't, i'm blanking him completely.

**Iluvmamonkeymanslave:** I thought u were being nice...

**Psyke!:** Meh...

**Iluvmamonkeymanslve:** LOL

_Stupid_Lamb has signed in_

**Stupid_Lamb:** Hey guys! Wuu2?

**Psyke!:** Laughing at our husbands... u?

**Stupid_Lamb:** Laughing at Edward, he is ATTEMPTING to cook... XD

**Iluvmamonkeymanslave:** Oh, i'm sure he iz not attempting...

**Psyke!:** Shut up, Rose! Edward wnted it to be secret...

**Stupid_Lamb:** Wha?

**Psyke!:** Just... GO PLAY WIV EDWARD! NOW!

**Stupid_Lamb:** ok...

_Stupid_Lamb had signed out_

**Iluvmamonkeymanslave:** WTH?

**Psyke!:** Edward wnted it to b a surprise that he can cook...

**Iluvmamonkeymanslave:** oh soz

**Psyke!:** nevr mind

**Iluvmamonkeymmanslave:** I'm bored... i iz gna go watch Emmet suffer... Bii!

**Psyke!:** LOL i come wiv u! I get Jazz to help paint!

**Iluvmamonkeymanslave:** awesome! LOL

_Psyke! and Iluvmamonkeymanslave have signed out signed out_

* * *

**I haven't updated for a while & this iz really short... Soz! I hava good enough reason tho... a very sad reason... my daddy died... sniff sniffmii reaction was way more severe than that... :'(... Oh well, i've been told that this is a part of life... *still sad* **

**I am dedicating a one-shot to mii daddy "Father's day in Forks"... itz still in progress but expect it come on soon... If not... Then i giv u full permission to poke me... lol**

**Thanks to fanfiction(dot)net for giving a great distraction... It's really helped me (wow i'm sad)**

**Biii!**


End file.
